It is no secret to anyone that my four daughters are the center of my world. I live and breath for them everyday. They truly are my biggest blessings. People always ask me how on earth do you do it with four girls? Well, what I am thinking is how can I not? I sure would not want life any other way. My girls bring life into our home and my heart and make me want to be a better person everyday. Now, I’m not one of those moms who thinks their kids are perfect and do no wrong. Trust me, they make mistakes and are in no way perfect, no one is. I can say, however, that each of them do their very best to let God guide their path, and in that I am so proud.
As a mother of four daughters it can be tricky navigating your approach in raising them into the women that you hope they will be. Unfortunately, the world we live in today makes these challenges even more difficult. In this day and age not only are we faced with the normal struggles in parenting with school, activities, peers, and dare I say it BOYS! But now we also have the influences of social media that play a huge role in the lives of our children today. To juggle all this and still be able to guide our children to make the right choices, have positive experiences, and seek God above all else can be challenging. Being a mom is hard work!!
In 2019 my family had a big year. Our second daughter, Emma, competed in her very first pageant, and won!!! She got to represent Kentucky as Miss Kentucky Teen and also in the Miss Teen USA pageant in Reno, Nevada and had a year full of experiences and blessings. She also received the honor in being named Homecoming Queen at her high school. A year of being a queen!! This year as I enjoyed watching Emma grow and learn from her experience it made me reflect on life with all my girls. What if I can make sure that all my girls experience being a queen every day? Not necessarily a queen in the literal sense (although that’s great too) but a queen in their hearts, minds, and overall life experiences. All girls know that being a queen seems so far out of reach. Most girls are plagued with so many insecurities that being a queen or even thinking like one seems like something that would never be a possibility for them. But I am here to tell you it is. I am here to tell you as a parent, we must start changing the atmosphere our girls are living in and change their world by making them feel like the queens they are.
How can we make our daughters feel like queens? Here are some things I have learned with raising my daughters:
- Seek God always. We all belong to God. He is our helper, our healer, and guide. With God guiding your path being a queen is a easy thing to do, because with God all things are possible. We need to teach our daughters to pray, to dig into the Bible for answers, and to always listen to God’s voice
- Make them get our of their comfort zone. My oldest daughter suffers from social anxiety, as do I, so I try to push her and myself to do things that is something we would not necessarily be comfortable doing. It may be going out to a social event, trying a new hobby, or meeting new people. Taylor is shy also but by encouraging her to get out of her comfort zone she decided to start her own you tube channel and her very own blog. Everyone should check her blog out!! Emma was out of her comfort zone when she competed in her pageant. She also told me my push was the reason her life was forever changed and she is grateful. So you never know what can happen and the confidence that they build in trying something new will help build that queen mentality.
- Teach self-love. Like I said, in today’s society it so hard for anyone to love themself. We are bombarded with so much on how we should live, look, and act. It’s hard to look in the mirror and love ourselves. However, we need to teach our girls that they are perfect in God’s eyes. He made them exactly as they were meant to be. You are beautiful, for you are fearfully and wonderfully made. Psalm 139:14. Teach your daughter to seek God’s approval, not people. God already thinks she is a queen.
- Praise them. Don’t spend all your time nagging. Yes, we know that this sometimes can be hard to do, especially with teenagers. But tell them how proud you are of them. Tell them how kind they are, how beautiful they are, and how special they are. Let them have a home that they want to come home to. A place where praise is a priority and not negativity. This doesn’t mean to praise them constantly and never point out any flaws. As a parent it is our job to do both. To show both strengths and weaknesses, but this is about guiding them, helping them feel confident, and letting them know they can accomplish anything because you have their back. With positive reinforcement they will certainly feel like queens.
- Teach them never to settle and dream big. This can include a lot of different areas of their lives including school, work, friends, relationships, etc. Whatever it may be, never settle. Never allow anyone to make them believe they don’t deserve the very best. Let them know they deserve to be loved, respected, and encouraged. They will certainly feel like a queen when they have the confidence to never settle. Encourage them to always dream big and go for whatever their hearts desire. It may be starting a blog, competing in a pageant, or learning something new. Whatever it maybe, teach them always to reach for the stars. God has big plans for them.
- Teach them to be strong. Show them how to take up for themselves and the importance of not letting others influence their decisions. Make sure they are confident in who they are so they never back down on their beliefs and values. Make sure they know as a women, they have the power to change the world. Lastly, make sure they stand strong in their faith, and that no matter what others say that will never be shaken. Even when they may feel weak, God will be their strength. But those who hope in the Lord will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint. Isaiah 30:31.
- Love them. Just love them. Show them you do everyday. They are never too big for a kiss, a hug, or a pat on the back. Never stop reaching out to show them affection. They may push you off, but do it anyway. Talk to them about their lives. Make sure you show interest in things they enjoy. Listen to them and don’t be so busy that you never have time to just talk. Show them grace and forgiveness even when they do mess up. Lastly, just make sure you show them they are truly queens, not only in your eyes, but God’s as well.
I pray that each of you enjoyed this blog, and that it encourages and helps you in the raising of your queens as well. I pray today that each of you see the blessings that are around you.
Love and hugs,